Deborah Keir BSN, M.A.

Transformation has several meanings. It can mean change in outward appearance, or a change in the nature of things, or even a change in character or personality. The operative word in the various definitions is change. Transformation can occur from without or within. All of us have experienced change from our life situations. Some changes appear big. Life events such as birth, death, falling in love, loss are all part of our human exerience.

Sometimes events are so big a cultural shift or change occurs. Often it comes after many years of smaller changes for example, the changes as a result of the civil rights struggle. Other times it can be a single event like 911. The reaction and resulting changes have had far reaching global consequences. Natural events like the tsunami, hurricanes, or wildfires can also create radical transformation of both landscape and awareness.

We could look at birth. An amazing transformation of form occurs to the body, yet the female remains herself. Following birth, as with many life events, nothing is ever quite the same. Indeed the only constant we have is change and transformation.

There is another transformation so radical, subtle and quiet that we might miss it. Transformation can occur in a nanosecond. So swift, it happens in a breath before our system can even really register what has occurred. It is as gentle as a breeze. It is as beautiful as the oneness we feel when seeing a sunset or a flower unfold to greet the light. It is as powerful as seeing that oneness and love reflected in the eyes of our beloved. Sometimes it is as if we have taken off clouded glasses and can see clearly for the first time.

Whether that seeing is focused outward toward the world or inward toward the self, like birth, nothing is ever quite the same. This is transformation that comes from remembering who you truly are. It is often accompanied with a realization sometimes called “the peace beyond all understanding” It is a direct experience that is often beyond words.

It is here that a profound transformation of awareness occurs. Once we have acknowledged that oneness and that we are made of that oneness, how can we harm ourselves or another? How can we harm the earth if we are not separate from her? If we can allow awareness and mindfulness to guide our actions what choices would we make as individuals or as a global culture?

I offer this invitation written by Rumi

“The breezes at dawn have secrets to tell you. Don’t go back to sleep.

You must ask for what you really want. Don’t go back to sleep.

People are going back and forth across the door sill where the two worlds touch.

The door is round and open, Don’t go back to sleep.”

Presence is the gift you give to yourself and it then naturally flows to everyone else in your life. It is one of those gifts that keeps on giving. There are many books written on how to live in the moment. There are also many practices to assist with becoming more present – yoga, meditation, mindfulness and others. The ironic thing is there is only Now. Remember the classic book by Ram Das was called “Be Here Now” The truth is where else can you be.

In our fast- paced multitasking world we need more than ever to find ways to take a breath and experience directly this very moment. Additionally, in our culture, we are encouraged with electronics to be continuously externally connected. Our dependence on smart phones, texting, and social media has the appearance of keeping us connected to the world. While we are so focused on being connected to out there what happens to the connection in here to the self through which awareness flows? By believing I have to be always connected what am I resisting?

I have a friend who struggled with always planning. She was constantly checking her calandar and watch so she would not be late for the next thing on her list. How many of us do this and miss the sweetness of the moment? It is like planning the dinner while you’re eating lunch. She put being in the Now on her very long list. A few months later I noticed she was wearing a bright colored watch. She had colorfully decorated her watch face with the word Now. Whenever she habitually looked at her watch it reminded her it is now. How wonderful that she found a way to bring her awareness to a habit that previously made her unaware.

There is one practice that we all know that can help us become aware any time. It is inspiration. To inspire has two meanings, to have an exalting influence on and to breathe. Breath is something we do naturally 12 to 20 times a minute. It is essential to life. Actually bringing awareness to breath is a simple and effective way of bringing awareness to being present now.

Exercise: Try this for three to five minutes.

1. Find a place where you can be quiet and not engaged with others.

2. Bring your awareness to breathing in and allow your breath to naturally flow out.

3. Begin to feel the rhythm of your breath. Simply notice breathing in and out.

4. Notice that there may be external sounds or internal thoughts that take your awareness away from the breath and gently return to breathing in and breathing out.

5. Keep going until the time you set is up and notice how you feel.

Presence enriches in unseen ways. It gives you the freedom to appreciate and embrace whatever is happening at the time. Breath can be a gateway to having a more direct experience of presence in your life. Here is a little secret for the new year. Things get done one thing at a time and life is lived one breath at a time.

In New England where there are four distinct seasons, we know in the fall that daylight will be short. For many of us there is a deep longing for more light. As we await the return of the light that begins at winter solstice, we have an opportunity to tend the inner light. For many years I resisted going in and getting still. Now, I embrace this time of outer darkness and tend the fire giving myself permission to just be. There is a reason why people gather around the hearth for light and warmth.

It is interesting that the dwindling daylight occurs as the holidays approach. For some, the holidays are frenetic and over-busy. More and more people are making different choices about how they want to celebrate. Less elaborate more heartfelt visits with friends and loved ones. Less structure and more play. Can we dare to keep traditions that really matter and feel alive and let go of what feels like duty or work? You may want to explore ways to create new holiday experiences within your circle of family and friends.

For some folks who are dealing with loss, holding on to past traditions can bring sadness. It may be a good time to contemplate something completely different and revisit traditions later.

This is a great time to listen to the inner intuitive voice that guides you. It is also a time to let go of what the mind thinks we should do. Rather than being in the holiday trance, we have an opportunity to experience being present. Offering your presence is truly a loving gift to give others.

In light of the season of giving here is an Inquiry or gift you can give yourself.

The Empty Bowl Meditation

Choose a bowl that you like to see and place seven objects that are important to you at this time. If an item is too big place it near the bowl. Each day pick one item and reflect of its significance. Allow any feelings, memories or thoughts to come up. Embrace the feelings, then ask regarding this, what is true for me now? How am I holding onto the past? How does this keep me from being present now?

When the bowl is empty allow yourself to reflect on emptiness. There is a saying, we must be empty of the fullness to be full of the emptiness. Explore emptiness and see what arises. Notice if there is judgment, self-judgment, anger, or a story-line running. Observe that the mind keeps coming up with thoughts and distractions and notice who is observing this. Center your awareness there and embrace the feeling.

May the blessings of the season be with you.

Why is it that sometimes we seem to know something without having any external information? Everyday intuition arises all the time. For example; we are thinking or someone and the phone rings and they are on the line. We might call this coincidence. Often we describe someone who appears intuitive as gifted and assume that we are not intuitive. Intuition is defined as the act or faculty of knowing or sensing without the use of rational processes.* Sometimes when a quick decision is needed we respond intuitively with an answer without any outside thought of how things should be.

Many of us have held a belief that knowing about something or questing for information or knowledge will help us get somewhere. Whole institutions have grown up around knowledge. In our culture the degree one achieves is highly valued. Knowing about something can be useful yet it is not the same as the direct experience of intuitive knowing.

I had the opportunity to watch a friend’s granddaughter playing in her garden. She is young enough that everything has not been named and categorized. What a delight to observe her pure joy of seeing a cricket or playing with water. She naturally explored one sensation after another without thought. The universe effortlessly guided to her next experience. Then I had an awareness that we can also be effortless guided by being present and listening to the inner voice or sensation that we all have. It is always present even if we are not conscious of that awareness. Our thoughts are truly the only thing that stands in the way of direct experience. Many people are so worried about what others think they rarely focus on what is present for them in the moment.

Since inquiry is about questioning unquestioned beliefs thoughts and ideas, looking at our beliefs about our intuitive ability and knowing is a great exercise. How often do we abandon our intuitive knowing thinking that someone else knows better. How many times have you censored yourself only to have it affirmed later? What would life be like if we allowed ourselves to be led by intuition rather than the mind’s thoughts of who we are and what we should do next?

Try this exercise.

Choose a life situation that causes confusion or requires a decision on your part. And then answer a few questions.

Ask yourself;                                                                                                                                                          1. 1. Concerning this situation what am I willing to know?

2. Concerning this situation what am I not willing to know?

3. By not knowing what do I create?

4. By knowing what do I create?

Enjoy your exploration and see where it guides you.

*American Heritage Dictionary

“Giving thanks for abundance is sweeter than the abundance itself.”  ~ Rumi

It is wonderful to hold an attitude of gratitude. When we take time to focus on all we that have in our lives gratitude naturally arises. Holding awareness of gratitude is a practice in itself. On a good day most of us can do this. Quickly name ten things you are grateful for in your life this very moment. Sometimes this practice of naming what we are grateful for is enough to shift us from a less than grateful mood. Gratitude needs to be given voice. An inspirational teacher William Arthur Ward said, “Feeling Gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”

Then there are those other days. When we are less than we hope and our behavior reflects something deeper. Our outer voice might say” that’s great” to a friend who just got a new job while the inner voice says “Why her and not me? It’s not fair.” There is a disconnect between what we wish for another and our feelings of insecurity. Why does this occur when part of us, indeed most of us, wants the best for those in our lives.

In Inquiry we look at what is expressed and what is also repressed or hidden from us. Often when we express ourselves there is sometimes another emotion or thought lurking in the background that is not always kind. In the case of gratitude it can arise as resentment or self-judgment. How can we get to a true, open-hearted expression of gratitude? This following exercise is to bring up the repressed or hidden thoughts that get in the way of truly being grateful. When we shine the light of awareness on what is hidden or resisted the results can be amazing.

This exercise is best done in writing so that you can see the resistance and examine the thought. Remember it is only a thought.

1. Divide a page into two columns

2. Title the left column I AM GRATEFUL FOR the other RESISTANCE

3. Write down one thing you are grateful for and then in the blank column write any thought or feeling that arises. Take your time and write down all the exceptions and limitations to fully feeling grateful.

Be honest with yourself. Notice where your mind takes you and the story it weaves.

For example:

I am grateful for my job

Except for having to work with Sue I wish she would stop interrupting me. She is the most negative person. How could she say that to me? I wish I made more money. Etc

I am grateful for my home

I wish that the yard was finished. I don’t have the money for landscaping. Why didn’t I plant in the spring. I’m just not a gardener. Etc.

4. Once you have allowed all the thoughts up return to the original statement and notice how it feels to say it, or write it again. Does it feel true to you? Can you speak it or write it without conditions?

5. Be grateful you have chosen to question, explore and grow.

A garden is a great metaphor for Inquiry. It is amazing what tending to the earth can reveal to you about yourself. A garden requires attention. We have to plant the seeds and nurture them. It is amazing that a plant arises from something so small. The plant blooms producing flowers and fruit and in turn nourishes us. In this season when the light returns, the earth warms and the pace quickens, it is sometimes difficult to be still when there is so much to do.

Bringing presence to our everyday situations can bring joy. Much has been written about the power of the present moment. I once had a bumper sticker that said There Is Only Now. Although we live in a time where multitasking seems to be the norm, the truth is one thing at a time is what we actually do. We assume, mistakenly, we must stop everything to have an experience of now yet doing a task with full attention is now. We loose presence when we are focused on the next task while doing the one in the present. When we can embrace each task and allow our consciousness to guide, often tasks are completed with little thought or resistance. Being and doing converge. Where your attention goes your energy flows.

The basis of Inquiry is to bring attention to what is usually not questioned. Has your life become like an untended garden? Inquiry is like weeding the garden. Without weeding the plant gets choked out and has difficulty growing, revealing its beauty and growing to maturity and bearing fruit.

The crops in the inner garden are the thoughts, beliefs, concepts, ideas and assumptions that we have planted or allowed to grow within us. Some of those thoughts are repetitive or even obsessive. They are like plants that take over the garden. You weed and weed and they keep coming back. Some just show up like a seed from the compost that germinates. A tomato shows up where you planted the lettuce. By consciously examining and questioning we can create more connection to our essential self.

Exercise: Tending the Inner Garden

1. What thought, belief, concept, idea or assumption have I planted?

2. How has it taken root? Has it taken over?

3. From where did it arise?

4. What feelings or sensations accompany the thought?

5. What would my life be like without this thought?

6. How does the thought see now?

Comparison and judgment are two aspects of what Gangaji calls the “powers of mind”. Indeed they are very powerful for they often keep us from being still and experiencing directly the truth of who we are. The mind is a wonderful thing with many abilities and is often called our greatest ally and worst enemy. Looking through the lens of Inquiry, a question naturally arises. Who or what is it that observes the mind?

Many of us find that we judge others while comparing and judging ourselves. A dear friend has a saying; “remember when a finger is pointed at another there are three fingers pointing back at you.” Judgment of others or ourselves is often relentless. As with all Inquiry, there are always two parts. One part will be expressed and one part repressed. In the case of judgment of another, we project onto someone and then feel free to comment on the projection as if is true. What is also present is the repressed self-judgment that is hidden from others and often hidden from ourselves. It is as if the Supreme Court lives in our heads and has the power to punish us for simply existing.                                                                                                                                                         Many of us are unfailingly kind to others. We give other people the benefit of the doubt and assume that any problem that arises is ours. Self-judgment often takes the form of comparison and with it comes a litany of self-blame. I’m not good enough, tall enough; thin enough, rich enough, smart enough. What do they think of me? Why did I say that? I’m stupid and on and on. We label ourselves and then believe we are the label.

What is operating here is a presupposition that we are not all right as we are. For many the judging came in childhood because we were trained by families, schooling, peers and the media to assume something is wrong with us and we need to be fixed. Consider for a moment that you are not broken. The internal dialogue can also takes the form of censoring what we say and feel because the mind prejudges the content as wrong or not good enough. For some people the fear of what others will think of us creates this inner censor. The self-talk of the mind removes us from the direct experience of now, including who we are right now in this moment.

Exercise on self-judgment

Choose a situation where you habitually judge and label yourself..

1. By believing this label what do I create?

2. By believing this label what is not created?

3. Imagine yourself without the label notice how you feel.

4. Put the label on and notice how it feels.

5. Practice putting the label on and taking it off several times

6. Who is it that takes the label on and off?

7. How does the label seem now?

I will leave you with a quote “ Be who you are and say what you feel. Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind”  ~ Dr. Suess

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”  ~ M. Kathleen Casey

A great deal has been written and spoken on suffering and pain. I invite you to begin to inquire into what this might mean to you personally. I am not writing of the great suffering that occurs in the world, rather the internal personal suffering that finds its expression in our daily lives. To be willing to examine the story the mind tells you about your painful circumstance or life situation or your suffering over the perceived pain of another.

Pain and suffering are often linked together and seen as interchangeable. They are both subjective experiences however pain may be associated with actual or potential tissue damage.* Suffering for the purposes of this inquiry is in the realm of the mind’s perception.

Indeed sometimes we suffer over the suffering. We energetically add to suffering by dwelling on how awful it is, or futurizing an outcome that reinforces our suffering and fear of loss. As humans we do this all the time. Particularly when a situation does not match what the mind tells us should or could be. We need to acknowledge suffering and pain as real and accept that this is part of the human condition. When we see the pain of another we are often confronted with our powerlessness to make it better. For example, when a person is dying and has accepted that fact yet their loved ones are suffering over the future loss. They miss the opportunity to be in the present moment. That moment can be rich and full of life for we are here until we are not.

Over many years I have had the opportunity and privilege to be with people who were in great physical pain, even in a dying process and were not suffering. Indeed many moments of joy and laughter occurred even as death approached. How can this be? When there is no resistance to what is, there is freedom to just be with whatever spontaneously arises.

As Gangaji** states, “Willingness to suffer fully, even for an instant, without trying to escape or be saved means that suffering is no longer an obstacle to full surrender into the mystery of existence. Relief from suffering stops being the goal.”

1. Choose a situation where you are currently suffering or the memory of a situation where you suffered.

2. Notice what the story that the mind tells you about the situation. Allow the detailsto be present.

3. Where in your body to you resonate with the story and suffering that accompanies the story.

4. Notice your attachment to the story. Ask is it true? By believing the story and suffering what are you resisting?

5. Be willing to feel the suffering without the story and notice what occurs.

6. How does the suffering seem now?

Notice how inquiring changes your concept of suffering.

*Wikipedia  ** Gangaji Diamond In Your Pocket